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((*suggests group therapy or mass suicide to Alicia*))




In balance there is deliberation; in art there is design; Laney broadens her study to encompass her entire surroundings and the results were more satisfactory.

Mad? I...No, no. I'm sorry.   Thanks so much for the...the...well, how did you do that?  Make the bruise go away, I mean.    I wish I'd had you around earlier.    She flashes a dazzling smile at him.   Can you heal broken bones?

He returns the smile. Yes. Well, most of the time. I can't always do what I want.

He looks at the lake again.

It's a bit complicated. There are some patterns I shouldn't mess with.

His attention goes back to her.

Why? Do you break bones often?

Not on purpose!  And it's been awhile since I have.  I'm just clumsy and run into things, or drop things, or...well, shit happens.   It was a playful complaint; her inner voice held no bitterness.  Laney accepts accidents as part of life, part of her life.   She had even forgotten about the bruise on her face entirely until John made mention of it.   Her earlier dismay was born of the clothing Jean supplied for her, not her style at all.    She would project an image of herself in this world, if she could here at this lake, amorphous and colorful her clothing used to be.  Used to drive Dad crazy, too.

As easily as thinking about it, her clothing changes according to her tastes.

Why seeing Sammy fly made you 'fall apart', as you say?

Across the spectrum, both neon and subtle, the motley layers of clothing Laney wears seemed to disturb the eyes with intent, paint spattered jeans and those same heavy steel-toed mock tennis shoes.   She draws her leg up and rests her chin upon her knee; her hair falls back from her face and Colin could see a line of beads knotted in her hair.  Not a single bead had the same shape as any other, some wood, some plastic.

It wasn't that she could fly.  That was really cool.   Strange it should've bothered me.  I mean...really strange.  But um...She just so...so...confidently said I was paranormal, too.   And John.  I'm not.  I mean, there's something weird about me, but it's not that, I don't think.   I don't fly, or heal, or see through people.

Colin leans back on the bench's backrest.

I can imagine why she thought so. What is it weird about you?

((Thanks.  ::) ))



You mean other than - She stared to make a coy remark to put him off, distract him, change the subject.  She'd been doing so more and more.   It was exhausting.

I already worked through the flashbacks with Ann.  It's not that.  She almost had me convinced I'd imagined it, but I know I didn't.  I know it.  It's just something that happened during the explosion, that's all.   It felt like...like nothing I'd ever felt before.  Then again, how often does one almost die?   See, just weird.

Other than what?

He turns to look at her again.

I can't really say I've ever been close to dying. But trust me, I've seen weird. Would you show me what you felt?

My head or yours?   Laney smiles sweetly and touches Colin's hand.

She was fetching Andy a second bowl of cereal while her mother changed Denny.   She casually glanced up and saw the hall flood with fiery brilliance.  Andy's screams she could not hear over the sudden, thunderous sound.  She felt them shaking through her chest when she pulled her brother close and dove towards the porch door.   Then the sharp pain in the center of her skull and the clarity of vision, as if she were watching - no directing - the siblings shoved violently outside by the hot force of the explosion.

It was the only way.  They were safe.  She had made them safe.

As the pain overtook her and pulled her into a senseless, black place, an uninjured Laney released her hold on Andy.  Her brother's unconscious but also incredibly intact body rolled away from her lax arm and folded over the remnants of their home:  tiles, sheetrock, and glass which silently sliced through the boy's cheek and then his vein as his weight gently settled.



There is another memory, just a flicker.   Laney withdraws quickly and so does the moment.  It took a long time to heal this one;  she doesn't want it hurting again.  She only wanted him to see what she changed.

Perched on the edge of a gurney, staring down at her clothing, her arms, her hands, demanding of the pale faces crowding her too closely, her voice spiraling towards hysteria, "Where's Andy?  Whose blood is this?  Whose blood is - "


We should - I should have died.

Colin stares at the lake for a bit before answering.

I'm sorry for your family.

He picks up a flat, round rock, and sends it do bounce on the surface of the lake. The ripples gently shake the water lilies.

You're right. It's real. You didn't imagine it. And you clearly weren't meant to die that day.

He throws another rock.

It's so unfair.

He turns to her.

Did they find out what caused the explosion?

Mrs. Pulowski has sent our way a couple paranormals, but... I'm not yet convinced it wasn't just a case of being really good at reading people, rather than anything else. We've had... peculiar experiences too, though not as yours. Maybe she only thought we could understand you better than the others. If you are indeed a paranormal, if you'd like to find out, I think we could help you. It's not a requisite to hang with us, though. I hope we can be friends anyway. 'Cause you're not a lunatic.


Colin makes a long pause.

Laney, sometimes I have visions of the past. Sometimes the police has asked me to help. If you'd like, I could try to help you. Maybe I could give them a tip.

Laney's gentle smile is one of practiced tolerance for those who will not understand.  Hugging both knees to her breast, she turns her head away from him as she tries to explain while watching the grasses being combed by a playful breeze.

I'm not crazy, not yet.  I have to know if I'm different.  That's just it.  I have to know.  If I could have stopped it...If I could have saved them...I could have saved them...I...I'm afraid there will be nothing left of me after that, but I have to know.   I'll be dead like I should have been.  Dead but alive...Not for long.

She is overtaken once again; a surge of guilt and fear so powerful it would drown her, even here in this quiet place.  The rest of Colin's words might have been lost in the maelstrom

For a moment it's like the wind is rising, a storm is coming to sweep over the place and destroy everything. Then...

Stop.

Colin's word seems to carry power, the wind disappears as if it was never there, and the sense of terrible guilt gets back under control. She feels it drained away from her and into Colin.

Laney, you've taken me there. I was there with you. So now you have to listen to me. You couldn't have stopped it, powers or not powers. It's not your fault they died.

He gently takes her chin and turns her face, until she looks at him.

It's not your fault.

Laney's expression softens, tension slipping away while she stares at him.  Colin could see his own image in the depths of those dark eyes, unnaturally reflective, and out of proportion.   Too large for her face they seem; it's more noticeable here, and perhaps more noticeable to one trained to observe the details as an artist would be.

Isn't it?  I have to know.  How can you?  I don't even know what happened.

You did everything you could. The stress of trying to escape, the adrenaline, it triggered something in your head, but even if that was a power, powers don't come with the training and insight to use them properly. It was almost useless, it was barely enough to save you. It's like there was a car crash and you didn't have your belt on, you've been thrown off and miraculously survived. You didn't cause the explosion. You didn't kill them, and you didn't leave them to die either. You've only been thrown off. It's not your fault.

His thumb caresses her cheek.

Our mind works this way, when something horrible happens and we find no way to deal with it, it resorts to blaming it on ourselves, because we know blame, blame is something we can handle. It's an immediate reaction, and it takes time to get out of it. I'm sure Ann told you as well.

I can help you find out about yourself. But for a very different reason. You survived. You are alive. And you should celebrate your life. You should make the best of the life you've been given. If you have a power, maybe you could train it and use it to save someone else. And believe me, that would do you a lot of good. Things would suddenly start to make sense. It's been this way for me, and I think it would be even more true for you.
I can also help you get justice. I can help you find out those who really are to blame.
And, in the meanwhile, I can give you this place. You need it more than me. So when you feel like falling apart, you can come here, take a deep breath, and face the world again.

You didn't. And this kind of thinking is almost like poison. You should get rid of it.

He turns to the lake again.

And about this place, I'm sure you wouldn't. It's pretty, it's peaceful, but it's deadly boring. I made it this way on purpose, so no one would ever be tempted to stay.

Laney looks again at their surroundings, idly twisting the stringed beads bound in her hair about her finger.  At the tinkling sound of glass upon glass, wood, and plastic, a small smile teases her lips.

Thanks, Colin.  Really.  Thanks.  I have to know. but where should I start? 

By letting you go get dinner, and I'll give my apologies to Sammy's parents for causing a scene and go home, I guess.

No way.

Colin fades away. A few moments later, the lake and the surrounding fade as well. Laney almost feel as if the place is being folded and put away somewhere in her heart. She finds herself on Sammy's bed. Colin slowly lets her hand go.

"If you feel better, Sammy and her mom have worked for the dinner, and it's only fair you show them you enjoy it. You don't have to feel embarrassed. Believe me, we have seen everything over the last few months, you barely register as a commotion. Oh, and time is different there. We've only been away..." he looks at his watch "five minutes top. And most importantly, I have a favor to ask you."

"Five minutes?" she repeats with a gasping breath, trying to raise herself up on her elbows.  He's right.  I can't leave if they've set a place already.  That would be rude, and they seemed so nice...    She squeezes her eyes back shut a moment to reorient herself.

"Um...Sure, what?"

He leans in to whisper, and cups his hands to her ear.

"Later, there will be music and singing and fun. Maybe some dancing. If that's the case, could you please have a dance with John?"

Her eyelids flutter open and color rushes to her cheeks.  She didn't need encouragement to dance with her handsome babysitter.  Not at all.

"Um...If he w-wants t-to.  I d-don't think h-he'll want to talk to me.  Um...I'm a lot of trouble."

"John's great that way. I'm sure he has already forgiven you. Mainly because there was nothing to forgive." he says smiling.

"Let's go now. I'm hungry."

He gently helps her to her feet, and offers her the glass of water. If she refuses it, though, he drinks it to the last drop.

Laney only sips at the water and hands it back, more in polite appreciation of the offer than because she wanted it.   Then, smoothing her skirts nervously, she stares at the door with growing anxiety.

Sitting outside talking to Sammy, Alicia flashes a smile for no apparent reason.

Colin opens it and leads her back to the party.