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Sammy eventually leaves the music room and makes her way from class to class for the rest of the day.  At the end of the school day, she leaves as quickly as she can.  She turns a corner and comes face to face with Colin.

"Hi, Colin," she says with embarrassment, looking for all the world like she wishes she could just disappear.

Colin smiles apologetically.

"Hey, Sam. I hoped I could catch you. Could you give me a ride home? I think the chain of my bike just passed away."

"Ummmm, sure."  She cautiously falls in step next to him.  "Do you want me to carry the bike with us?  You'll have to show me where you parked it."  She waves at some friends as they pass.

"Oh, it's by the main gate. I can come take it later with my mom, though, you're too kind."

He thinks about it then shrugs.

"Then again, if we're seen, two flying teenagers make as much sense as two flying teenagers and a bike. We can reenact E.T. Colin... phone... home..."

This elicits a giggle.  "I get to ride on the handlebars then.  I haven't done that in a while."
She walks with him out to the bike and gets it and them airborne.

She hesitantly offers an apology of sorts.  "I -- I'm sorry I did it again at lunch.  Sometimes it seems like I should just stay away from there."

"Did what?" he asks, honestly. "What is it you feel sorry about? The little show with Donnie? Why? Nobody minded that. Actually, Donnie could use some shaking, from time to time, but that's another business. Or is the little fight with Alicia? You girls should stop rubbing each other the wrong way, but I don't think anything's broken there either. And if coming at all puts you in a bad mood, then don't. We won't take offense. Don't force yourself to come. Come when you're ready, when you feel like it. You can call the ones you want to see somewhere else. It's not like god wanted us to sit at the same table all the time."

"Are you sure about that?" she asks over her shoulder.  "Donnie gets upset when I stay away.  Sometimes even offended."  She's quiet for a moment.  "I don't feel like I belong there with you guys anymore.  The balance is all different.  Shifted. Wrong. I get tense just walking into the cafeteria."

"Donnie gets upset when you stay away from the lunchroom, or when you stay away from him? You could go flying with him from time to time, and explain why you don't feel like dropping by. He's a bit dense about this kind of stuff you have to spell it clearly to him, you know. I can tell him, if you don't feel like talking about it. I don't like you talking this way about balance and things like that. Should we ask Laney and John not to come? I don't think you'd like that either. You're my tattoo sister, Sam, why wouldn't you belong with me?"

He leans forward. "I hope you aren't really feeling sorry about what you are. There's nothing wrong with you. You're unique and wonderful, dangerous, and sometimes a little out of control. But not wrong."

Something he said must have hit a nerve, because the bicycle bobbles a bit then rights itself.  The bobble might not have even been noticeable if they had not been "riding" on the bike.

"Donnie and I talk plenty.  I'm not sure he always hears, but I'm used to it."  Her voice is quiet, and starts taking on a sad tone.  "You don't like me talking about balance?  Why?  Because you have yours?  Lucky you."

"Ha!" Colin says, but doesn't argue about the last point any further.

"I don't like you going metaphysical about something that isn't. What's changed, exactly?"

"In its most naked form?  I hate fighting and arguing, yet it seems like I'm always fighting now.  I'm sad a lot; I'm angry a lot too.  I have lost friends.  I have lost parts of myself.  There are holes in me, in my heart... its hard to explain.  But it isn't right.  It isn't normal."

"Oh, I read about it somewhere. I believe it's called... adolescence."

He places his hands on her shoulder, and gently rubs them.

"Normal is most often ill-defined and overrated. It wasn't a fight today, you and Alicia didn't get each other's joking languages and showed each other you could hurt with words. Do you have someone, not me or the 'usual suspects', who you cant talk about this with?

She pulls away from his touch.  "You're hearing what you want to hear, hearing what you want me to be saying" she says angrily.  "Things aren't right.  People have been saying and doing things out of character, ever since, ever since"  she shudders and spits out a name in a way that sounds like a curse "Laney came.  Nick asked her out in front of me, John got weird, El, Alicia, the rest of you guys,... when people get near her, she warps them somehow.  I'm not making this up, Colin, I'm not!  She changes things!  And no, there's nobody I can talk to.  The last time I tried finding a neutral ear, I wound up with Dr. Strange.  I'm not risking that again."

She speeds up, taking them from a leisurely sightseeing pace to an almost breakneck one and brings them down abruptly behind Colin's house.  Nothing is damaged, amazingly enough.

"What did I do?" he asks, seriously. "What did I do that was out of character? I'm here listening. Please, don't fly away."

"How about this?" she says, looking very near tears, "Things changed and you didn't notice.  You always notice.  And you never ever, not once, asked if I was okay when you of all people should be able to see I am not.  When Donnie notices before you, its bad, Colin."

"I'm here now. I'm listening. I'm noticing. Would you come in, please?"

Sammy sniffles.  "OK."  She follows him into his home.

Colin's house never runs out of chocolate and that what he prepares, if only to give her time to soak some heat.

"I'm sorry. Of course I noticed. I only thought that I couldn't do much about it. And maybe it's true, but it isn't an excuse for being a lousy friend." he says, sliding her cup in her direction on the table.

"Would you give me a chance to make up for it? I want to listen. I can be neutral, if you want, or completely on your side, whichever you prefer. I've got time and a lot of chocolate. And I won't go around hypnotizing people to make them commit crimes, which should be a plus."

Sammy wipes at her nose with a wadded-up tissue and shakes her head.  "No.  Thank you, but no.  There's nothing you can do about most of it, not now.  The damage is already done, and I just have to deal with it.  Or run away again.  I'm good at that."  She sniffles again.  "Maybe you can ask Alicia to only attack me, and not my mom.  I took a big chance and trusted her when nobody else would, and she turned on me and used my mom's story as a weapon.  She started hanging out with Laney all the time, and now I'm yesterday's garbage.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  It fits with everything else."

Colin shakes his head.

"Today I didn't run after you only because Sarah did, and she's better at this kind of things than me. So I ran after Alicia, because I couldn't understand what was suddenly so wrong between the two of you. We talked a bit. She certainly didn't mean to attack your mother. But she has her instincts, and when she feel attacked, her first reaction is to attack back, and ten times worse. And then, eventually, to regret it. Seen from outside, things got from funny to tragic in two seconds. Yes, she's spending some time with Laney, because they're working with Jack together, and Jack only works with Alicia if she keeps good grades. But she hasn't dumped you at all. You're very important for all, and what she said today, before the bad things, she said because she's concerned about you. Because she doesn't want you to get hurt again. You wouldn't believe the things she shouted about John."

He takes a sip of chocolate.

"She also said something else, though. She said she offered to be there when you felt ready to talk. And I did the same thing. I told you could drop by whenever you wanted, that the window would always be open for you. It wasn't a figure of speech. It's open even now. It's my fault for not noticing things were getting worse for you, but I didn't cut you out on purpose. You did."

He shows her his hands, and the faint scars of his burns.

"It took me to burn my hands to realize I was hurting myself on purpose. Please don't make my mistake."

"Concerned?  Hmmph.  Concerned people don't stab you in the back or betray all your secrets, or treat you like you're an idiot who hasn't got any sense at all.  Even if she hadn't made me angry, if she's hanging out with Laney, I can't tell her anything.  I can't trust that it won't get repeated."  Sammy drinks some of her chocolate.  "And you?  You have a jealous girlfriend.  She doesn't have a darned thing to be jealous about, mind you, but she's twitchy and I am developing an interesting reputation. That's a dangerous combination.  Your window might be open, but its not a good idea for me to go flying in and out of it."  She drinks more chocolate and mumbles.  "If I'm cutting myself out, its to protect myself."

"She said: -Not that I want to break up the lovely scene, but you are way beyond the PDA threshold. Trust me, I know. And you're exactly two seconds away from having the hall monitor have an infarction. Just sayin'.- That wasn't treating you like an idiot. That was her way to say: Isn't the joke getting a bit too far? At that you answered: -Yesss, Muh-ther! Jeez!  I'm not doing anything you haven't done a hundred times more, or a thousand times louder!  Gawd!- which is a bit overreacting. Alicia took it really bad. Like you had called her a ho in front of everyone. So she overreacted herself. So when you called her mother superior, she said - I'm not your mother. And neither are you.- It's an escalation. You know how Alicia is, it's instinct to her. Rest assured I gave her hell for hurting you like this, but it wasn't anything anyone not in the know would understand. She didn't betray your secrets. Or you. She hurt you because she felt hurt."


"Sarah is... twitchy? There's a difference between being jealous and being blind, or between jealous and murderous. Besides, she's my girlfriend. If she has no reason to be jealous, she won't have if a friend drop by to talk with me either. Let me deal with that, and don't hide behind it."


"And is it working?"

"I can see how it would look that way to you, Colin" Sammy acknowledges.   "But she was being bossy, even if it might have been with good intentions.  She does it a lot, and it drives me nuts.  She hurt me first!"  She stares hard at him.  "And no, its not working out real well, but I'm afraid to think how much worse it would be if I hadn't removed myself.  Self inflicted pain is a lot easier to accept than pain that is pushed on you."

"Don't give up on her. Tell her what hurts you about what she does. Give her a chance to set things right. I think you care about her too."


Colin seems to ponder it. "I'm not sure about that. Forgiving one's self is harder than forgiving others."

Sammy makes an odd noise, like she's choking on her tongue.  "Yeah, duh.  Why do you think it stings so much when a friend lets you down?  If you didn't care, it wouldn't hurt."


"I'm sure.  Removing myself from situations is a lot less painful then sitting through them.  If I'm not in the middle of it, I can allow myself to think of other things.  Its much worse when its right there in my face; then I can't ignore the pain."

"Ok. Isn't a friendship you care about worth saving?"


"And there's no one of us you can hang with without thinking of that? Are we all tainted now?"

"I have friends other than you guys."  Sammy's eyes close wearily.  "But to answer your question more directly, some of you are easier than others.  Some things and places less easy than others.  Some situations less easy than others.  Lunch in the cafeteria is the absolute worst.  Flying and music are the best."   Her face twists into a sad little smile.  "That's part of what I like... liked about John.  Flying with him.  He can't fly yet, but god, he could keep up with me.  He could take it when I went full out.  I could let that part of myself totally off of the leash and not worry about killing him.  We can't do that anymore.  I have to be so careful with the rest of you.  The only other person who comes close to being able to handle it is Sarah."

Colin bits his lips and says nothing for a while. He's running out of things to tell her.

"Sam, it's fine if you avoid lunch. It's fine if you avoid people you don't like. It's not fine if you avoid all difficult situations or difficult people. Easy situations will always be a minority. Same thing for people able to handle you at full power. You'll find someone else. I don't think you've lost John forever either."

He sighs.

"We're your friends. We're the best people you can practice hanging around with, because we know where you're coming from. If you run away from all the trouble, you run away from most of the world. And then anchoring you here would have been for nothing. By little steps, when you feel like it, take chances. For example, give Alicia a call. So at least you can tell her how angry you are with her at her face. It's supposed to be liberating."

Sammy looks down.  "I'm afraid to do that," she mumbles.  "I'm afraid of what happens if I don't run away and I lose my temper.  Did you hear about the freak tornado that came out of nowhere a few weeks ago and plowed a farmer's field a hundred miles from here?  That was me.  I was angry.  Sometimes I have daydreams about what I'd like to do if I wasn't such a nice person... and I scare myself, because I know I can do any of it Just. Like. That. if I choose."

She sighs heavily.  "I'll try, ok?  But if I screw up--will you visit me at the paranormal prison in Arizona Flats?  That's not too far from Eagle's Nest.  I flew past it on my way home.  Maybe Sarah can send cookies, too."

Colin takes her hand.

"You'll do fine. Actually, what Alicia is doing with Jack might help you as well. Ask her about it. And though I'd surely visit, it's far more likely I'll visit you at Eagle's nest, than at Arizona flats."

Sammy wrinkles up her nose at both the idea of working with Jack and of Eagle's Nest in her future.  "Not for me," she says.  "I'm not interested."

"I won't be able to either, I think."

He raises his cup as if to make a toast.

"To the interesting, but not lonely, times ahead of us?"

[OOC: That's a good place to end it]

OOC: that was meant as a closure, but you could toast with me. :)

It's all good. Close it up.

 ::)    ;)

Sammy toasts with Colin.